Lady Katya sneered as two female warriors walked past her as she sat in the park. It not because they were women, for she was one, too. No, it was there armor or lack there of. It was the bane of her existence. Sexy armor.
Who came up with the concept? What was the purpose of such revealing armor? And why did it seem like more and more female warriors were gravitating to it? It was illogical and sickening.
How much did she hate sexy armor? It was the very reason she founded the Artemis Knights, a guild made entirely of female warriors. Their goal is to prove that women can be good warriors without looking like underwear models.
The women stopped in from of her and had a conversation. Lady Katya grumbled, then said, "Excuse me, sluts. Could you not stand there?"
They both gave her an incredulous look. "What's you're problem?" one of them asked.
"I'm just letting you know not everyone is fond of you and your skimpy little armor," she answered.
"You look older than us, so I say this with all due respect," the other women said. "We're not trying to appeal to you or anybody else for that matter. If you don't like it, don't look."
"I can't look away because you're standing right in front of me."
The two women looked at each other. "Maybe she's jealous," one said.
"I think so," the other said with a nod.
"I'm not jealous!" she snapped. "I...just don't get it. You could be killed going out to battle like that. Showing off sexy curves means nothing on a battlefield. Don't you understand that?"
"If you going to fall in battle, it doesn't matter how much armor you're wearing," one of the women said. "We are well aware of the risk sexy armor entails. We are also still alive in spite of that risk."
"Well, that's insanely stupid logic," Lady Katya said. "Sexy armor too risky. And it's embarrassing, too."
The women looked down at themselves and asked in unison, "What's so embarrassing about it?"
"Look at all that skin you're showing," Lady Katya asked. "You don't look like warriors. You look like whores. No one can take you seriously dressed like that. And don't get me started on all the men who do nothing but ogle you and fantasize about you. It's shameful."
"Maybe other warriors don't take us seriously," one of them said. "But in combat, our weapons do the talking. As for the gaze of males, that's apart of the package. We're not doing it for that reason, but males are going to look. It can't be helped."
Lady Katya was even more confused now. "If you don't use it for protection in combat or to charm men, then why do you wear it?"
The other woman said, "because it feels good, especially when it's hot. I know on hot days like this, I wouldn't want to wear stuffy, old armor. You should try it."
Lady Katya was appalled at the thought. "I will not!" She stood and proudly declared, "my goal as the leader of the Artemis Knights it to prove the superiority of fully-armored women and prove how stupid sexy armor is. I'm wearing real armor, hear me roar!"
The women giggled. "Calm down, lady," one of them said.
"Just wear some sexy armor," the other said, laughing. "You'll feel better."
Those were fighting words. Lady Katya drew her sword. "Come at me! I'll show you the superiority of full armor."
The women ran away, screaming, "She's crazy!"
Lady Katya watched them leave. She found herself alone. "Huh. I wonder what's wrong with them." She plopped down on the bench and went back to looking at trees and squirrels.
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