The kids all gathered around Claude as he sat on his sofa. They were of various ages, with the oldest being sixteen. They all looked eagerly.
"I assume you all are here to hear a story," Claude said. Normally, he'd just good into a random tale, but he felt generous today. "Okay, I'll let you decide what story I tell. What me what you want to here."
"A Christmas story," one said.
"A Halloween story," another said.
All the kids blurted out several things, except the oldest. That's who would determine the story. "How about you. What do you want to hear?"
The young man said, "When did you lose your foot and how?"
The other kids assaulted him with similar questions.
"Yeah, how, Grandpa?" one kid asked.
"Did you lose it in a war?" another asked.
"Okay, brats, shut up and listen. Grandpa Claude's about to tell you all what happened to his foot. But if I'm gonna tell it right, I hafta start from the beginnin'. So get comfortable, because the story's startin'."
It looked like everyone was ready. "All right. It was a long time ago, before you or even your parents were thought of. I was your age, fresh-faced and ready to take on the world. I only had one thing to worry about. There was this bully at school. He walked around like he owned the place and while I wasn't has only target, I was one of his favorites."
"What's this got to do with your foot?" the oldest kid asked.
"I'm gettin' to it," Claude said. "Anyway, this kid used to do all sorts of things to me, all throughout middle school. My mother would keep tellin' me he wouldn't be around forever. Unfortunately, he wasn't goin' away fast enough for my likin'. Still, I took it all through middle school, because he wouldn't be there to bother me in high school. At least that's what I thought at the time. Yet when I got to high school, there he was. He was determined to pick up where he left off in middle school. As you can guess, I got tired of that mighty fast. That's when it happened."
"And he cut off your foot?" a kid asked.
"Shut up, boy. Anyway, I was walkin' home with some of my friends when he showed up. He began his usual routine, but I wasn't takin' of no more. I fought back and good. At some point during the fight, I he him bent over against a wall and was putting' my foot to his ass. Then, after a particularly hard kick, something felt weird. I realized that I'd shoved my foot straight up his ass and got it stuck up in there. It didn't matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it out."
The kids had various looks on their faces.
"This wasn't gonna fly. I had to get home and watch some cartoons. So I kept at it until I got free. I fell down and felt a sharp pain in my ankle. When I looked, my foot was gone. It had broken clean off in his ass."
Everyone's jaw dropped.
"Anyway, I was cryin' and he was cryin'. Our parents came and took us to the doctor's office. The doctor offered to remove the foot so they could reattach it, but I refused. As much as I liked that foot, I wanted him to keep it as a reminder of what happens when you mess with Claude. I'd broken my foot off in his ass and still had another one I could break off in there. Never heard from that bully again. And that's what happened to Grandpa's foot."
Everyone was silent.
"Well, kids, see you next week. Come back for another story."
