The House Of Ellis, Lady Katya Episode 3

It was a bright and sunny day.  Lady Katya was enjoying a stroll down the street, a smile on her face.  Why was she so happy?  It was almost dusk and she had yet to see a single woman in sexy armor.  "What a beautiful day."

And just like that, a woman in sexy armor walked out of a pub she just happened to be walking past.  She looked up at the sky and asked, "Why do you do this to me?"  It got worse.  The woman had seen her and started coming her way.

"Hey, nice armor," the woman said.  "It goes well with your blue hair."

Lady Katya responded by saying, "back off, worm."

The woman gave her a puzzled look and said, "have I done something wrong?"

"I don't acknowledge women in sexy armor," Lady Katya said.  "You people are nothing more than maggots, worms, and whores.  Cover up, then we can talk."

"Huhn?" the woman asked.  "Oh, wait.  You're just screwing with me.  No woman your age could possibly be that infantile."

"Respect your elders, child," Lady Katya hissed.  Then, she realized the opportunity that had just presented itself.  She would play nice for now.  "Normally, I don't like sexy armor, but yours is a rare exception.  Giving it another look, it's cute."  It hurt to say it, but that's how she'd get what she wanted.  "Might you tell me where you got it from?"

"Oh, sure.  There's a place in town called The Novelty Armor Shop.  Have you heard of it?"

"No."

The woman pointed down the street.  "It's not far from here.  Just go down that way a few blocks.  You can't miss it."

Lady Katya thanked her and headed there.  The woman was right as she saw a group of coming out with in sexy armor they apparently had just bought.  "It's time to bring an end to sexy armor in this city once and for all."

Upon setting foot inside, she saw her worst nightmare come true.  Sexy armor was hanging everywhere.  Chainmail bras, iron thongs, steel miniskirts, and other assorted sexy armors assaulted her eyes.  She felt herself stomach turn.  "No!"

She ran back out of the store and violently vomited in the road.  "Urrp!  Hurruh!"

An Emporan soldier came over.  "Do you need assistance, milady?"

"I'm fine.  I just saw a horrific sight.  That's all."  She looked back at the store.  It was truly an establishment of horrors.  She wasn't ready to endure the sights within.

Then, she shook head.  This wasn't the time for fear.  For the sake of female warriors everywhere, she had to go in a slay the monster that was sexy armor.  She took a deep breath, exhaled, stood talk, and approached the store once again.

She entered and saw a man standing there.  "You okay, young lady?  You just sort screamed and bolted out of here."

"I am not okay, because your establishment sucks."

"It suck?" he asked.  "How so?"

She made a sweeping gesture across the whole store.  "Just look around.  There's not a decent piece of armor anywhere.  Everything in here is pathetic.  Where's the good armor?"

"At regular armor stores," he answered.  "I used to work at another armor store and people constantly came in complaining there wasn't enough sexy armor available.  I saw that as an opportunity to make a living, so I opened a shop that sells nothing but sexy armor."

"There's no way a warrior worth her salt would buy any of these," Lady Katya complained.

"Is that so," he asked.  "Because the one and only Lady Madison came in a few days ago and bought several armors..."

"Lady Madison is a fraud and a charlatan," Lady Katya said.  "The same goes for anyone who would wear any of these...embarrassments you call armor."

"Umm...are you going to buy something or not?" the clerk asked.

"No, I don't want to buy anything."  She looked around, then drew her sword.  "I want to destroy it."

He blocked her path everywhere she turned.  "Hey!  Calm down!  This is my business here!  This is how I feed my wife and kids!  I can't let you destroy everything!  I'd be ruined!"

"Oh well, it sucks to be your wife and kids," she said.

He tackled her down.  "Are you crazy?  What's wrong with you?"

She pushed him off and stood.  "Sexy armor has no right to exist.  I've made it my life mission to show everyone how pointless it is.  I've also decided to destroy it when I see it being sold."

He blocked her way again.  "Sexy armor isn't that bad.  I guarantee you'd see it differently if you wore it sometime."

"Ha!  And why would I do that?"

He grabbed her hand and took her over to a mirror.  "Because underneath all those plates and chainmail is a sexy warrior waiting to be unleashed.  You're a beautiful young woman.  Like most female warriors, you're still at an age where you want to show you can be strong and still be sexy.  Sexy armor can make that happen.  As a matter of fact, I have just the thing for you.  Wait here."

She watched him grab a blue armored dress and bring it over.  It was very short and provided no coverage of the shoulders or neck.  "Oh, hell no," she protested.

"But it matches your hair," he said.  "It comes with matching shoulder-length sleeves and thigh-high boots for more coverage.  There's also a metal collar to protect your neck.  I'll give it to you free of charge."  He held it in front of her and pointed to the mirror.  "What do you think?"

It did look flattering.  And if the boots and sleeves provided enough coverage, it would make for a decent set of armor.  It could be both cute and functional.

Wait.  What was she thinking?  "I won't give in.  I won't wear sexy armor!"  And with that, she hurried out of the store.

She looked back, fist shaking.  Sexy armor may have won today, but she would have the last laugh.  Sexy armor would meet its end and she would be the one to bring about that end.

The House Of Ellis, Lady Katya Episode 2

"Who are we?" Lady Katya bellowed the twelve women.

"The Artemis Knights!" the woman barked back.

"What do we hate?"

"Sexy armor!"

"I can't hear you!  What do we hate?"

"Sexy armor!!!"

"And why do we hate it?"

"Because it's impractical and looks stupid!  Only sluts and suicidal idiots wear it!"

Lady Katya nodded.  "Yes!  We hate sexy armor!  Now give me ten laps around the guild!"

"Yes, milady!"  The women went off to start their workout.

She sighed and breathed deep.  "The smell of hard work..."  It hard taken a lot for her to save these twelve souls from the threat of sexy armor.  Her work wasn't done, though.  There was a world full of women she had to saved from the scourge of skimpy armor.

That's when she saw a female warrior in sexy armor walking down the street.  Maybe she could save another.  She started toward her and said, "Hey, you.  Female warrior."

The woman stopped and looked at her, gripping the sword sheathed on her hip.

"No, I'm not trying to start a fight," Lady Katya said.  "I just want to inquire about your attire."

The woman looked down at herself.  "What's wrong with it?"

"Ha, what's right with it?" Lady Katya laughed.  "In all seriousness, how do you really feel wearing something like that out to battle."

The woman looked puzzled.  "It works well enough.  Why?"

"Don't you feel stupid wearing that?"

The woman rolled her eyes.  "And I thought you weren't trying to start a fight."

"I'm not.  I just wonder what the appeal of such skimpy armor is.  I mean, where's the protection?"

The woman looked down at herself again.  "Maybe I'm not as protected as you, but it's a lot more functional than it looks.  Also, it's more comfortable and easier to put on than traditional armor.  Then you haver the fact that it's more fashionable.  It makes you look cool, tough, and sexy."  She smirked as she said the next bit.  "It's also a testament to my skill level."

Lady Katya smirked back.  "Is that a fact?"  Then, she drew her sword.  "I'm up for the challenge.  How about you?"

The woman looked her up and down.  "You're serious, aren't you?"  She drew her sword as well.  "I'm going to enjoy making you look like a fool."  Then, she turned pale and sheathed her sword.  "I'm sorry.  Please forgive me."

"Ha," Lady Katya said, sheathing her sword as well.  "It seems you recognize you're inferior."  Then she realized the woman wasn't looking at her.  No.  She was looking behind her.  Surely, it was the other Artemis Knights, coming to her aid.  "It's okay, I can handle her."

"Can you?" a familiar voice asked.  "She looks pretty tough.  She might have the edge."

Lady Katya grumbled.  "Lady Madison."  She turned to face her.  "And wearing sexy armor no less."  She shook her head.  "I may not like you, but even I can acknowledge you're better than this.  How long are you going to keep this up?  The face of the military shouldn't be humiliating herself like this."

"I'll wearing it as long as I feel," Lady Madison said with a smile.  Then, she looked at the other woman.  "If you're going to have a duel, take it outside the city."

"Y-yes, milady," the woman.  Then, she ran away.

The other Artemis Knights came running over.  Then, they screeched to a halt and looked at one another nervously when they saw Lady Madison.

"Don't worry," Lady Madison said.  "I'm just keeping the peace.  As you were."  She began to walk away.

The Artemis Knights all let out a sigh of relief.

Lady Katya grumbled.  "Hey!  You don't get to order around my Artemis Knights!  They're my guild!  Mine!"  She grabbed Lady Madison by the arm and whipped her around.  "Do you understand?"

Lady Madison seemed unimpressed.  It was almost as if she were looking at an insect.  "Let go.  I have to meet my friends for ice cream."

Lady Katya grumbled some more.  "I won't take this lightly.  Do you hear me?"  Then, she let her go.

Lady Madison nodded.  "Okay.  That's fine.  In the meantime, why not join me and my friends for some ice cream.  I'm buying."

One of the Artemis Knights lit up and asked, "Can we?"

"No!" Lady Katya snapped.  "We're not having stupid ice cream with stupid Lady Madison!  She's the enemy and she's wearing sexy armor to boot.  That makes her a maggot and we don't socialize with maggots!  Now continue running."

The Artemis Knights all groaned and went back to doing their laps.

"Well, if you're sure..."  Lady Madison walked away.

Lady Katya watched her leave.  She was the ultimate obstacle.  The Artemis Knights had to overcome her if they were going to prove the superiority of full armor.  "I'll surpass you one day..."

The House Of Ellis, Episode Lady Katya

Lady Katya sneered as two female warriors walked past her as she sat in the park.  It not because they were women, for she was one, too.  No, it was there armor or lack there of.  It was the bane of her existence.  Sexy armor.

Who came up with the concept?  What was the purpose of such revealing armor?  And why did it seem like more and more female warriors were gravitating to it?  It was illogical and sickening.

How much did she hate sexy armor?  It was the very reason she founded the Artemis Knights, a guild made entirely of female warriors.  Their goal is to prove that women can be good warriors without looking like underwear models.

The women stopped in from of her and had a conversation.  Lady Katya grumbled, then said, "Excuse me, sluts.  Could you not stand there?"

They both gave her an incredulous look.  "What's you're problem?" one of them asked.

"I'm just letting you know not everyone is fond of you and your skimpy little armor," she answered.

"You look older than us, so I say this with all due respect," the other women said.  "We're not trying to appeal to you or anybody else for that matter.  If you don't like it, don't look."

"I can't look away because you're standing right in front of me."

The two women looked at each other.  "Maybe she's jealous," one said.

"I think so," the other said with a nod.

"I'm not jealous!" she snapped.  "I...just don't get it.  You could be killed going out to battle like that.  Showing off sexy curves means nothing on a battlefield.  Don't you understand that?"

"If you going to fall in battle, it doesn't matter how much armor you're wearing," one of the women said.  "We are well aware of the risk sexy armor entails.  We are also still alive in spite of that risk."

"Well, that's insanely stupid logic," Lady Katya said.  "Sexy armor too risky.  And it's embarrassing, too."

The women looked down at themselves and asked in unison, "What's so embarrassing about it?"

"Look at all that skin you're showing," Lady Katya asked.  "You don't look like warriors.  You look like whores.  No one can take you seriously dressed like that.  And don't get me started on all the men who do nothing but ogle you and fantasize about you.  It's shameful."

"Maybe other warriors don't take us seriously," one of them said.  "But in combat, our weapons do the talking.  As for the gaze of males, that's apart of the package.  We're not doing it for that reason, but males are going to look.  It can't be helped."

Lady Katya was even more confused now.  "If you don't use it for protection in combat or to charm men, then why do you wear it?"

The other woman said, "because it feels good, especially when it's hot.  I know on hot days like this, I wouldn't want to wear stuffy, old armor.  You should try it."

Lady Katya was appalled at the thought.  "I will not!"  She stood and proudly declared, "my goal as the leader of the Artemis Knights it to prove the superiority of fully-armored women and prove how stupid sexy armor is.  I'm wearing real armor, hear me roar!"

The women giggled.  "Calm down, lady," one of them said.

"Just wear some sexy armor," the other said, laughing.  "You'll feel better."

Those were fighting words.  Lady Katya drew her sword.  "Come at me!  I'll show you the superiority of full armor."

The women ran away, screaming, "She's crazy!"

Lady Katya watched them leave.  She found herself alone.  "Huh.  I wonder what's wrong with them."  She plopped down on the bench and went back to looking at trees and squirrels.